4 reasons why i hate talking on the phone

Please don't take this title to mean "Why I Hate (Insert Your Name Here)." I swear, it's only the phone I hate. It is actually a really bad thing, because it means that I don't often talk to people I love. And I live far away from practically everyone I love. The only person I do not mind talking to on the phone* is my mom, and now I live two miles from her. So, I never talk to anyone on the phone. I did not use to hate talking on the phone. When I was a teen, I could talk to my best friend for hours. Why do I hate talking on the phone now? Funny you should ask.

1. I'm an introvert. Awkward silence will be the death of me.

2. I have kids. Kids are loud. And they talk a lot. And I don't hear very well. When you say, "Yeah, I've been good. We're moving to Alaska in a few weeks and I have to get my molars taken out and my favorite television show is Sister Wives," what I hear is, "Yeah, I've been Austen don't do dat. We're moving to my wocking horse in a few mama do you munt some eggs and I have to my can I have molars taken some juice and I want to favorite television do it myself is Sister Wives."

3. I never get any time to myself. The last thing I want to do when the kids are finally asleep and the house is quiet is listen to someone else talking to me. I'm sorry, was that mean? No, but seriously. I want to put on my PJs, grab a book, and pretend no one else exists until I hear Austen yelling for me to come nurse her.

4. The moment I divert my attention from the toddler, he finds something naughty to do. Yesterday morning, immediately after my husband left for work, he called me to tell me something really quick. In the two minutes we were on the phone, River tried to pick up Austen, bopped me on the head with a plastic bottle, moved a chair to the kitchen to try to reach something on the counter, opened the fridge and took out the egg carton, tested out the computer power button, and knocked my guitar over. All I could do when I hung up with my husband was plop onto a chair, exhausted, and vow never to answer the phone again.

So uh, I have to return calls to about three people. Maybe I'll do that today. Or maybe.... I won't...

*Okay, maybe this is a lie. Once I'm on the phone with a friend, I enjoy our conversation. I would just much rather talk face-to-face. You feel me?

a real house tour. really.

If you don't know me personally and you enjoy reading my blog and have turned me into some really awesome storybook-like character in your mind, first of all, thanks. But no really, I hope you haven't, but if you have, there is no better way to completely erase any unrealistic ideas than to show you my home. I have never lived in a beautiful place. I like beautiful things and I love love love (LOVE LOVE) home decor, but I've never had the resources to make my place of dwelling a place that I really like. I have finally come to terms with the fact that it is possible I never will, or that, at the least, it will be a long time before I am able to. I used to get annoyed, a little jealous, and kind of depressed when looking at "Real House Tours" on other blogs, because I knew that: 1 - Even at its cleanest, my house was never has clean as their "messy," and 2 - there was no way I could get my house to be that beautiful. Possibly ever.

So, for every other woman out there who has a mutual secret loathing love for real house tours of beautiful homes on beautiful blogs with beautiful people, I share with you my real real house tour. Or rather, apartment tour. That I live in with my husband, kids, and my husband's cousin. That I did not clean, at all, before posting these pictures. I didn't even take out the trash in the bathroom first. That's how real this is about to get. These pictures of my home are taken with my cell phone camera. There is no editing, no curved edges on the photographs to make them look more romantic or poetic. It is what it is, and while I may not be thrilled with it, it's what I have, and I am thankful that we have the life we have. And I'm not saying that just to say it.

I do have to say that I had finished all the laundry before taking these pictures, so you just missed the giant piles of clean clothing and diapers strewn out all over the living room floor.



Hey! Welcome to our home. Come on in, and take off your shoes. Or don't. Because it's a rule we have that no one really follows. You can just put them in the shoe closet. Careful, it kind of stinks in there. What, you don't have a stinky shoe closet?

If you go down the hall, there to the right is River and Austen's room. They sleep in our bed so it's really just a toy room for now. It's my favorite room in the house. It's bright and cheerful and their window lets in so much beautiful light. Sometimes when I'm overwhelmed with the messiness of the rest of the house, I come in here with them while they play. 

The giant rocking horse was my brother's. I love it, but it's huge! I have this plan to paint it, but that would be a process. Sanding, priming, painting. I was thinking black and white stripes, or one bright, solid color. We'll see. There's River's "reading corner." Oh, I have plans. I want to put a small book shelf on the floor and the chair and floor lamp in the corner, and the letters R E A D above the bookshelf. And, I guess I kind of need some storage for all those stuffed animals and dolls. Why must children have so many stuffed animals? In the closet is their little dresser and Austen's diaper storage.



This is possibly my favorite thing in the whole house. I love the white shelving; it was money I'm glad we spent. We rarely buy new items and definitely not $75 at a time (for the shelving and cubes). I think it looks adorable and it really took care of the toys-everywhere problem. That vintage lamp still needs a damn lampshade.



Alright, onto our room, just down the hall there. That's our bathroom. It's so freaking small, I can't stand it. I hate having carpeting in the vanity area. Whose idea was that anyway? Definitely not someone who had a two year old who likes to climb onto the counter and spill water all over the floor.



The bathroom is probably the most put-together room in the whole house, besides the babies' room. I still adore the shower curtain my mom bought us when we got married, and there's a shelf we bought at Goodwill for seven bucks.



Right off the bathroom is our bedroom. Oh hey, there's our trusty air mattress! That's right, we've been living here for six months and still do not own a mattress. Why we must sleep with seven pillows and five blankets, I will never know. Spoiled Americans.



In the middle of the room is our bed frame. On a good day, everything is stuffed in the middle of the frame to keep it contained and neat-looking. On a normal day, it looks like this.





Um, let's move to the living room! *coughs nervously*

I can't wait to get a couch. Maybe this weekend we'll find a decent one on Craigslist. There are so many ugly couches in this world, guys. All that stuff by the fire place is John's computer/music equipment. I guess when our cousin moved back to Texas, her room will be the study. For now, it's just sitting there. Huge. And messy. And heavy. The black table in the corner is being used a sewing table right now, and I love it, because I've actually been sewing! I don't know if we'll keep it there, because it's pretty big, but for now this room is just for practicality. Nothing about it is actually attractive.



This was my lovely mother's day present (a piano bought off of Craigslist) and there's Austen's swing my parents bought her for Christmas that she is now much too fat for. It doesn't really rock any more when she sits in it; just kind of grunts forward and back.



Off to the left is the dining area and kitchen. After almost two years of not having a table, John built this one out of legs from a round table and a separate table top, both found in the dump at our apartment. After a good sanitizing, he sanded down the top and stained in teal, and then painted the base and legs black. We found the chairs along with the black table (my sewing table) at Goodwill for a total of $25. I am very proud of my husband -- he created a beautiful piece!



And to finish, here is my tiny kitchen. Clearly, we need more storage space. Natalie, if you're reading this, that is your face on my fridge. Creepy? Maybe. Or that save-the-date magnet works really well.



If you have a house tour on your blog, please share! In all seriousness, I love seeing other people's homes. I like to see how people decorate (or don't) and the organization of their home (or lack thereof). In any respect, as everyone reading this is most likely at least in the 20% of the richest people in the world, we should all be happy and content with what we have, even if that means we've been sleeping on air mattresses!

inspiration board: doilies

1. Vintage Floral Doily Bunting, Janellish 

2. Upcycled doily lamp, More Designs Please

3. DIY doily table runner, How-To Gal

4. Doily rug, Ladies and Gentlemen

5. Doily scarf , Handmade and Heritage

6. Doily basket, Martha Stewart

7. Gorgeous doily blanket, source unknown

outdoors

We are doing what we came here to do.

my toddler is happiest when

My toddler is happiest when we spend the day doing something fun, rather than staying at home. Going to the bookstore, playing at the park, even a little window-shopping at the mall.

My toddler is happiest when I take the time to look him in the eyes and listen and react appropriately to something he is saying to me, instead of saying, Uh huh. Uh huh. Okay.

My toddler is happiest when my time is spent focused on him, rather than focused on the computer, or the laundry, or having the living room picked up.

My toddler is happiest when I take the time to explain to him why he can't do something he really wants to do, instead of snapping, Because I said so.

My toddler is happiest when I offer him an alternative instead of telling him to stop whining because he didn't get what he wanted.

My toddler is happiest when I empathize with his frustrations and take a moment to hold him and understand him, instead of getting angry that he is not behaving like an adult. (Because, you know, he's not an adult.)

My toddler is happiest when I let him "help" me with the things I have to get done -- whether that's moving clothes to the dryer or putting groceries in the fridge -- instead of telling him that I'm busy and to please go do something else. Even though takes ten times longer. Even though I have to go back later and do it again correctly.

My toddler is happiest when I am off my phone, off my computer, off my butt, and playing with him in his room. Or exploring outside. Or finding blue things around the house. Or coloring or building or digging.

My toddler is happiest when I am consistent with him even when it is inconvenient to be consistent, because he knows what to expect, and children thrive on routine.

My toddler is happiest when I always, always apologize when I make a mistake and act in a way I know I shouldn't. Because I make mistakes all the time.

My toddler is happiest when I remember I create memories with every moment. Not just the happy moments, or the fun moments. So make them worth it.

These are the things of which I must remind myself constantly. A difficult week led to a good week, and I'm thankful for that. Sometimes there are moments when I think, "This is too difficult... I don't like being a mother today." Usually it's when I am so focused on other things that I don't give myself time to be patient. A child's world should be slow-paced and gentle. It's hard to fall into that as an adult. Sometimes I need to step back, breathe deep, recharge, and offer hugs instead of harsh words whenever I'm feeling like I'm at the end of my rope. I love this boy with all my heart!

good thing my kids aren't your kids

Okay, okay. I admit it. Sometimes I want to say something like, "Oh, you're buying Babywise? Have you ever heard of The Baby Book?" or "It may not be the best idea to get an epidural before you're dilated to about six centimeters!" Oh, the choices in parenting. Solids before six months. (But breast milk is the perfect food right now!) Circumcision. (Did you know it's just considered a cosmetic procedure these days?) Cry-it-out method. (OHGODNO.)

But, y'all. It's none of my business. Each mommy knows what is best for her family. And you know what kills me? Seeing one mom be a bitch to another mom just because she doesn't agree with her. I see it all the time. And it's not fair. Women can be so mean to one another online!

Lord knows there is plenty for other mothers to pick apart about me. I have a horrible problem with yelling, and I mop my floors like once a month. I spend too much time in Internet World and not enough time playing or reading books to my son. Why do we hold everyone to our ideal standards of the type of mother we personally want to be on our best days? Sometimes, we all have to make choices in the moment that go against what we believe. I hate the cry-it-out method, but there have been times when I've had no other choice but to let Austen cry for a few minutes while I do what I need to do.

And I admit it, I have played the bitch card before. When I was a brand new mommy, there were days when I thought I knew all there was to know about being a mom. And sometimes, I still grumble to myself about others' parenting choices when I know I shouldn't. But then the other day, I saw this, and it kicked me in the ass. Because it was like it spoke directly to me.

Why, what a grand idea! Who would have thought?

There is no point for me to stress over the parenting choices of other mothers. My concern is for my own children, and I need to put that focus on being the best I can be for them. There is too much emotion, background, and passion that goes into the choices, to understand fully those choices of other parents. We make choices with care and out of love. We try our best.

I know we all falter sometimes, and there are plenty of things I've done that I am not proud of. Like that day I let River watch TV for five hours. Oh, yes. Good thing my kids aren't your kids, huh? 

the reality of a child

One night when I was about five years old, I was having a hard time falling asleep. I was doing the usual kid thing -- getting up multiple times to go to the bathroom, get a drink of water, too hot, too cold, can I have just one more hug? Finally, my mother had had it up to here with me, and told me not to get up one. more. time. or I would be in big trouble. It must have been late, because my parents were already in bed. (Now, as a parent, I can only imagine how frustrated they were with me).

I lay in bed, twisting and turning, listening to the blood in my eardrums against my pillow, trying to fall asleep. I decided it was too bright in my room, and I got up to turn my night light off, and crawled back in bed. That didn't last for long. Too dark. Much too dark. Quite afraid, I carefully made my way to the night light to turn it back on again, and as I leaned down to reach it, I hit my forehead on the corner of my dresser.

It was one of those pains that starts off sharp and then slowly sinks into your skull. Tears sprang to my eyes. I managed to flip on my night light and tucked myself back in bed, crying. All I wanted was my mommy! If only she would come running into my room and scoop me up in her arms and kiss my head, it would make all the pain go away! I was so overcome with emotion, my forehead throbbing and being a little scared in the room that had been pitch black only moments ago (who knew what lurked under my bed?), unable to tell my mom what happened. I cried and cried, and eventually fell asleep. I'll never forget that night, because I felt true hopelessness. It was a feeling of, if there was anything I could do to change this situation, I would. The feeling of needing my mommy so bad, and not being able to get to her, just one room away.

I think it's important to remember how we felt as children when dealing with a very emotional child. I have to constantly remind myself that my toddler's emotional maturity is that of a two year old, and that just because he feels distraught over, say, not being able to take a toy to bed (a frequent battle over here), it is the same amount of emotion an adult feels when they feel distraught over something. It doesn't matter that his emotion is over something small, it is still his reality and I must be empathetic when dealing with those emotions. It's funny, looking back at how I felt when I hit my head that night and couldn't seek my mother's comforting kiss, and how it is adjacent to feelings of overwhelming emotion I may feel today over something much more serious.

In the same line of thought, it helps to think of this when reminding myself of the innocence of a child. Children don't do bad things because they are bad. Their actions are because of influences and emotional immaturity. Much like we may react to a bad driver on the road, or in an argument with a spouse, a child reacts to things that upset them, but on a different level. One thing I see my son do all the time is copy things that are said and done toward him. Obviously, this makes me watch more closely how I treat him. If I shake my finger and speak in frustration with him when I am upset with him, I don't think it's fair that I discipline him harshly for doing the same to me (because he has before, and I know he is only mimicking my actions). I must be a constant example to him of how we act in situations that upset us, and before disciplining him, remind myself that he is just an innocent child who is experiencing the --just as important-- reality of his emotions.

project pinterest : southwestern stuffed peppers

The Pinspiration

Southwestern Stuffed Peppers from Simply Love Food


The Project

I used this delicious recipe as inspiration for my own. Our meal was vegetarian but it would be very easy to make them vegan. It was flavorful and easy, and I will be making them again! This recipe feeds two, and the measurements are guesses, because I didn't measure anything.

1/2 cup uncooked pinto beans

1/2 medium onion, chopped

1/2 cup rice

4 oz. frozen corn

1 clove garlic, minced

1 tsp. cumin

1/2 tsp. chili powder

salt to taste

2 bell peppers

cheddar cheese

I cooked the beans using the package directions. When they were pretty much cooked through, I added the rice and onion and simmered, covered, for twenty minutes. The rice pretty much soaked up all the water, so I had to add a couple more cups about halfway through. In the meantime, I halved the peppers and roasted them in the oven for twenty minutes at 400 degrees.

When the rice was thoroughly cooked, I added the corn, garlic, cumin, and chili powder and continued to cook it uncovered for a few more minutes until the water had evaporated. Then I stuffed the peppers with the rice and bean mixture, and baked them for 20 more minutes, adding slices of cheddar cheese for the last five minutes of cook time.

When they came out of the oven, we piled them high with plenty of cilantro and avocado.

project pinterest : no-sew vest

Pinspiration

No-sew vest from Crafting Cousins, using an over-sized t-shirt.

Project

I chose a well-loved, old t-shirt for this project. One that I enjoyed wearing frequently in its youth, but has become too stretched out, too full of slight stains, too thin. I began cutting the neckline and realized I was not supposed to cut the back. But uh, I went with it. Because... I had no other choice. I proceeded to follow the instructions (it's really not a difficult project at all) and was done in just minutes.

I tied off the back with a strip of fabric from the sleeve and clipped the ends. Unfortunately, this t-shirt was too stretched out, too full of slight stains, too thin to make a good vest (or, a super hero cape, as river calls it). I used a crappy pair of scissors and didn't measure anything, so this project was doomed to fail.

I think I'll just chop this one up and make another headband for Austen. Maybe I'll try again, with a higher quality piece of clothing and fabric scissors.

project pinterest : jersey headbands

I decided it's time to put all those pins on Pinterest to good use. This month, I am going to try and recreate as many recipes and DIY projects as I can. For my first project, I chose the one that looked the least intimidating and used the most basic supplies. You can probably make one with things you have lying around your house.

The Pinspiration

Adorable Jersey headband from Oh Sweet Babies

The Project

Hot glue gun.

Stretchy fabric for the band, and complimenting fabric for the flower.

Needle and thread. Scissors.

I measured around my very perturbed baby's head, and cut a strip of fabric about two inches shorter  in length than the circumference. Then I sewed the ends together, pulling the thread to create a gather at the seam. Then I went back and sewed again... 

resulting in this simple headband. You could very well just leave it like this! I think it's cute.

Then I cut a bunch of circles out of the fleece, which would be pinched together and hot glued to create a flower of sorts.

I put a bit of hot glue in the middle before pinching, to help the flower keep its shape.

Then hotglued the bud to the band at the gather. You probably want to sew it on. Or maybe even sew all the petals together, instead of hot gluing, to make it washable. But I'm lazy. I continued to pinch and hotglue the circles together until...

I got a good-size flower for that cute little head.

It was so easy and looked so cute, I made another.